


How I Met My Moirail

by songohanfan1



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - No Sgrub Session, Chucklevoodoos, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Meeting the highbloods, Multi, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Sober Gamzee Makara, gamkar - Freeform, karkats vocabulary
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-17
Updated: 2015-11-06
Packaged: 2018-03-03 19:09:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2872724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/songohanfan1/pseuds/songohanfan1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Okay, this is now finished, sorry for the mess up earlier but this is the product. Thanks for reading, and I love feedback so if you want to you can just drop me a comment. Enjoy~</p>
    </blockquote>





	1. Karkat:Fall To Peer Pressure-->

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, this is now finished, sorry for the mess up earlier but this is the product. Thanks for reading, and I love feedback so if you want to you can just drop me a comment. Enjoy~

Karkat: Fall To Peer Pressure-->

You really fucking don't want to, the thing your so-called "hate-friends" are trying solicit you into doing is so fucking stupid it just might transcend all idiotic ventures your inclade has done this far. And that's fucking saying something. 

 

gallowsCalibrator began trolling carcinoGeneticist

GC: COM3 ON K4RKL3S YOU KNOW WH3N YOU 4CT L1K3 4 GRUB 4BOUT TH1NGS 1T S1GN1F1C4NTLY LOW3RS TH3 4TTR4CT1V3N3SS OF YOUR BUTT

CG: YEAH WELL SOMEHOW I THINK MY ASS WOULD ALSO LOSE ATTRACTIVE ABILITY IF IT WAS TORN TO FUCKING PIECES AND THEN HAUNTED FOR THE REST OF MY INDETERMINATE LIFESPAN

GC: HMM... YOU PROPOS3 AN 1NT3R3ST1NG NOT1ON ThR3SH3CUT1ON3R MCNUBS,HOW3V3R F4LS3, 1T 1S 1NT3R3ST1NG >:]

CG: THE FUCKING THING IS TEREZI, IT'S REALLY NOT FALSE LIKE AT ALL. WHEN I GO TO THAT FUCKING ISLAND IM GONNA GET MY BULGE HAUNTED SO FUCKING BAD ARADIA'S NOT EVEN GONNA WANT TO BE NEAR ME. OR I'LL BE BEATEN UP SO BAD BY THOSE UNDEAD I'LL MAKE TAVROS LOOK LIKE A PRIME SPECIMEN. SO YEAH, NO THANKS FOR YOUR FUCKING INVITATION TO AN OBLITERATION OF THE FUCKING SWEEP.

GC: W3LL 1 W4S R3F3RR1NG TO TH3 NOT1ON OF YOUR 4SS 3V3R NOT B31NG 4TTR4CT1V3. TH4T COULD N3V3R H4PP3N

grimAuxiliatrix invaded trolling session

GA:Yes I Sincerely Agree With Terezi. It Would Take The Force From A Higher Power To Make Your Posterior Anywhere Near The Realm Of Unattractive. 

CG: NO FUCK YOU MARYAM. THANKS FOR THE HELP BUT WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU'RE DOING IM STOPPING IT RIGHT THE FUCK NOW. IF YOU NEED TO GET AHOLD OF BOTH OF US YOU CAN OPEN A MEMO LIKE NORMAL FUCKING TROLLS

carcinoGeneticist banned grimAuxiliatrix

CG: ANYWAY SO LONG FUCKING RANT CUT SHORT THERE IS NO WAY IN FUCK IM GOING TO THAT ISLAND, AND NOONE, NOT EVEN YOU OR FUCKING KANAYA CAN MAKE ME CHANGE NY MIND.

CarcinoGeneticist  ceased trolling  gallowsCalibrator 

* * *

You think back to your conversation with the insane demonic troll you call a quadrant as you row the boat to the island. The boat previously mentioned has 9 fucking people on it, yet you're the only one keeping it moving. Utter bullshit.  

Turns out your lameass hatefriends  got the same pass to get on the island you did but decided that because you're the nubby fuckass you are, they should force you and just decide to go themselves whenever they felt like it. More bullshit. 

Rowing is getting significantly more difficult due to the fucking thick as shit fog encompassing your lazy party. You start to groan and complain loudly about how dumb this is when you're jerked forward after hearing a thump.

And you bite.

Your motherfucking tongue.

So gogdamn hard you're pretty sure you've discovered how candy-like it tastes. Truly the taste of blasphemy, pure and simple. 

"GOGDAMN FESTERING LUSUS BULGE ON A HOT BREADTREAT! What the fuck happened?" You hope someone could understand you past your swollen tongue. 

Sollux growls and you see his psiionics crackle around his glasses. You just remember his headache. Shit, you've pissed off the most dangerous pre-pupation troll on the fucking planet. Fuck your hot worthless life.

" Gee KK, I don't know. What did you do? You're the idiot who's been steering us this whole fucking time. If something happened its your fucking fault!" Your groan comes out over the groans of the various injured members of your group and you scoot to the front and look over the edge to see what you could've possibly managed to hit in a gogdamn open ocean.

 You look over the bow, and luckily your reflexes take over and save your oculars from being gauged out of your face on the spike less than an inch from you. You look around, there are spikes sticking out at seemingly random intervals from the surface theyre attached to that's obscured by the fog. You look harder into the mist trying to see anything, any sign that there's more here than just gogdamn water surrounding you.

 Someone's cackle rings out from behind you and almost makes you shit your pants. You turn around glaring, Terezi smiles like a shark and calls out. 

" Land ho, hoes!" She keeps madly cackling and you just sigh and turn back around. 

" Well shit, if this is that fucking gog-forsaken island we better haul our doomed asses out of here. Before some fishfuck comes to rip us to shreds." You throw the anchor over the edge and make sure the rest of your fuckasses are up before exiting the boat. 

And by exiting, you mean falling off the side because your foot got caught in a rope. This ground has rocks and shit that are digging into your face when you land on it. You push yourself up only to realize that along with the copious amount of dangerous nature on the ground there is also fucking litter and broken glass.

You get worried because broken glass generally has the negative connotation of cutting your hide and exposing a certain secret that's really fucking dangerous.

You wrap a piece of your shirt that was also torn from said glass around the middle of your hand, covering your cut and concealing your blood. The less assholish members of your group probably would only be slightly disgusted, but you have Equius with you and there's no doubt in your mind that he'd cull you in less than a second if he found out.

 You look behind you and find that no one else had that problem, you were the only one inconvenienced, as per fucking usual.

Which means you're left with one choice, keep moving forward. 

"Hey fuckasses, since this is kind of my dare in the first place I'm going to go this way by my fucking self. Gog knows whatever horrible spirits haunting this fuckwad island will fucking rise from their unslumber to cull you fucking idiots because you're so panblistering dumb they're turning over in their graves everytime you speak." It actually doesn't look like they cared much when all you got was an ok from Kanaya and a wave of the hand from Sollux.

 Well fuck them too then.

You turn and walk up the sloping side, letting your foot protectors take the brunt of the garbage and shit you're stepping all over.

 You struggle past some half-assed attempt at a fence around some kind of burnt tree that upon closer inspection has lines running down the trunk in bizarre random patterns. You leave the tree before you notice the spots of purple marring it further.

 You climb over yet another inconvenient boulder and keep hiking. 

Until you hear the howls.

 Wild, manic calls echo around you through the fog, and the fact that you still can't see a fucking thing only serves to freak you out more. You look around quickly to see if you can find anyone making these noise; it would be just like Serket to fuck with you like this. 

You don't see anyone.

Actually, if your oculars aren't entirely fucked up, there seems to be some kind of haze forming around the fog, only serving to make it more dense and thick. You honestly have no idea what direction you're facing or why in the fuck you're still walking when you can't see where it is you're fucking walking to.

 This proves your theory about you being the biggest bulgelicking idiot on the fucking planet.

 You keep walking, following the howls like a beacon. Past the fence. Past the tree. Over a dead fishtroll. Keep walking.

 There is a tangle of wooden beams and netting a little further ahead. You keep walking. This time with a destination in mind; netting is made by trolls, trolls means danger but it's a danger you're familiar with and confident you can handle.

 Believe it or not a sicle can't maim a cloud. 

The howls that had diminished to background noise suddenly come to the forefront of your mind when you realize that this is where they're coming from. 

And the fact that they have this weird underlying sob to them.

You keep walking.

You reach the structure and hide behind one of the poles. The wood is rotten, rough with splinters sticking everywhere. And an underlying tone of purple you don't really notice or bother to question. You have your hands on it and try not to gasp when they come away with a new coating of splinters and candy red.

Peeking your head around the pole, you can see that the fog here is the thinnest, but that it also looks kind of dark. Way fucking scarier than anything else you've seen on the island. 

Through the mist you make out a blob, darker than the rest almost entirely black. Then you see orange sticking out from the top of said blob and realize its a troll. You watch them.

Theyre moving around at random, with harsh jerking motions and twists of its head. After what seems to be some kind of spasm the sobbing comes out over the howling then does down. 

Something's wrong with this fuckass and you want to know what. You carefully creep around the pole you were behind, follow the netting wall, through a gap made by two poles pointing opposite positions.

Until you settle behind more netting, this time wrapped around a shorter spike. The spike has some cut rope tied to it, or wait-no not cut, the end is separated but in tatters, it's not a clean cut by any definition. Looks like it was bitten.

You look up from the rope and find yourself almost directly behind the troll. He's kneeling, hands behind his back-you see where the rest of that rope got to- just howling. Really fucking letting loose, you don't understand why.

Maybe this is a feral, they're always fucking stuff up and acting generally manic.

If it is a feral troll,you'll need to act with care. Be fucking calming.

 You slowly stand up. Your fucking knee pops loudly,for no fucking reason. And resounds. He freezes. You see his ears perk, moving around to find where that noise came from.

" Who the motherfuck is it? WHO WOULD BE ALL AND COMIN TO A MOTHERFUCKER'S LAND ALL UNINVITED-LIKE? That's hella rude my brother. FUCKIN INSENSITIVE AS THAT HO-TITTY BITCHIN FISHYBRO WHAT ALL I CAN'T GET RID OF. Why don't y'all come on our and let me see ya, I ain't no bad motherfucker what all you got to hide from. JUST WANNA GREET YOU ALL PROPER AND SHIT, COME ON OUT MOTHERFUCKER" You hold very still, your feet rooted to the ground they're on. You are certain now, this shitheap is feral. And according to the laws your threshecutioner corps holds dear, it's your duty to the Empire to cull this fucker where he is. 

You stand up the rest of the way, take a deep breath and steel yourself. 

"Oh? Motherfucker wanted to get his manners on after all?"

You walk.

"Well brother, I hate to got to be the one to up and tell you this, but NO AMOUNT OF MANNERS CAN SAVE YA NOW!"

Keep walking.

"Ain't really nothin personal, it's just my motherfucking duty brother. MY DUTY AS THE HIGHEST MOTHERFUCKING SUBJUGGLATOR ON THIS MOTHERFUCKING PLANET! Blasphemer." You freeze. Turn your head and look at his hands, they're dripping purple. A purple so fucking pure the Grand Highblood would fucking weep at the miracle. 

So you're dealing a feral highblood, so high that if you lifted his shirt it would probably show gill slits.

But...

He's still crazy as fuck and you need to put this fucker down. 

You come up behind him, clenching your strifekind. The handle is getting moist, must be all this fucking fog. 

You lift it up, turning it to the side for a clean sweep across the head stem. 

He laughs. It's a broken sound, more pathetic than humorous.

"Am I gonna be released now brother? WITHOUT EVEN SEEING MY SAVOIR'S FACE?" You don't understand why he wants to see your face, it isn't that great. You walk around him, to the front.

His hair is unexplainable, makes no fucking sense whatsoever. He looks up at you. His eyes are dripping purple tears, the skin underneath his eye swollen and puffy. He's bleeding, from the split lip he's still biting, from his swollen oozing eye.  From the three scratches running across the length of his face.

Gog.

His clothes are torn, ripped to shreds across the chest, with the scratches that must have caused it raking down. His pants aren't torn, but Gog they're dirty and pretty much smell like a dead squeakbeast wrapped in fart scented rancid meat.

His horns are long and windy, but keratin is flaking off and there's some new layers showing where the old layers haven't fully fallen off yet, and shit that's unhealthy.

His eyes are red, purple irises just beginning to fill in. He's your age. But he's in a bloodrage and you can't fix that. Besides, he's probably carrying so many types of diseases you're going to have to give yourself a chemical shower when you get home.

You meet his eyes, nod and slowly bring your sicle back up to position. You maintain eye contact as you bring your arm back, having a silent conversation as you swing it back forward.

'sorry, it had to be this way. It will help you, you won't have to suffer anymore. I can at least help you with that'

' but I didnt want to die, I'm only eight sweeps. I don't want to be this way, but I can't stop myself'

'i know'

You...

throw the weapon away, far from your reach where you may be tempted to use it again.

Instead you reach forward and pap his face. You don't stop doing that until his eyes are almost back to normal. You hug him and begin to realize you had been crying this whole time.

Shit.

 You look back at him and find that he drifted off to sleep. Great, now you have to carry ths fuck who smells like shit all the way back to your boat. Gogdamn it. 

Well at least the fog is clearing. Actually, through the fog you can see two red and blue orbs. You're pretty sure that means Sollux, which means psiionincs, which means help and not having to carry this fucker around.

"Yo Sollux, come here!" He turns and looks directly at you, then start towards you, walking up to you. When he reaches you you see his frown.

" What the fuck KK? We've been calling for you for like hours! We thought you were swallowed by the GlubGlub, and what the fuck is that stench?" You dismiss it with a wave of the hand.

" Come here fuckass, I need your help with something." He groans.

" I have been walking around this fucking island for hours getting covered in shit and splinters, looking for you. How about a little break for me?" He follows you anyway and you lead him to the highblood you found. 

He looks down at the heap on the ground then looka back up to you.

"KK, I'm pretty sure this thing is already beyond saving. I'm not helping you carry a dead body back to the boat." You scoff.

"What? Too much for you to carry? Plus he's not dead, half-starved probably carrying a plethora of diseases sure, but he hasn't keeled over yet. Now help me pick him the fuck up." He groans and stoops down to turn him over so he can hold him by his back. 

You hear a gasp and you turn to see what he's looking at.

He's right above the troll's face with eyes wide open.

"KK, this is a highblood." You nod at him in response.

"Yeah, good job you can see in more than just red and blue, I'd always wondered." He shakes his head quickly.

"No you idiot, you don't get it! This is the highblood, as in so purple he's almost a fucking fish. He's higher than anyone I've ever seen, including subjugglators. But-oh shit! If he's still alive we need to get him some kind of help really soon. You think TV could help?" When Sollux gets worried it makes you three hundred times more nervous. You quickly fix this guy's clothes, more like fucking rags.

" Well then hurry the fuck up and grab him." He nods and stands up. Soon he's cradling the feral in his psiionics and you two are making your way back to the boat.

You walk in silence, occasionally papping the troll's face when he groans to loudly or starts to shift. Sollux starts complaining. Gog is he whiny today.

"He fucking smells like shit. What'd you do, piss on him in fear KK? Geez, you have got to learn to control that impulse." You flip him off and resume your silent walk.

You reach the area you left the others at and are suddenly ambushed by a bitch.

"Soooooooo, Karkat where ya been? It got pretty boring around here without you to liven things up with your midget anger. What's that Sollux? Another kill? I toooooooold you I've got it handled." He wrinkles his nose in disgust and shakes his head.

"No, I would never expect anyone to eat something this putrid. It's enough to kill a musclebeast. It's a gift from KK. TV? Can you come here for a sec? We got a diseased...thing. Probably male, his hair's so gogdamn long it's hard to tell." A yes rings out from the bowels of the boat and you get a little more calm.

You spot a relatively flat and shitless rock and point to it.

"Go set the fuckass down over there." He nods and lays him across the rock.

"Um guys?" You turn and find Tavros standing there unsure, anxiously trying to look over yours and Sollux's shoulders to find what the cause of that smell is.

"Tavros, I have the thing on that rock, don't worry. That smell doesn't mean it's dead. Go look at him." He nods and moves past you, gently moving Sollux aside. He gasps.

"Karkat, this isn't just some animal,it's a,uh,a troll. I'm not sure, if I can really,uh, help him. He looks pretty,um, far gone from what I can see." You walk to him and put a hand on his shoulder.

"It's breathing, it eats. It's living, you're going to fucking help him." He sighs and starts rummaging around in the little sack of healing devices he brought.   

You sit next to the rock and watch what he's doing. You see him gently turn the troll's head to the side, looking at the horns, prodding at the bases.

"The hornbeads are tender, look to have old wounds and sores as well. I wonder,how uh, how long he's been like this." You shrug and he sighs, resuming his lookover. You see him run his fingers gently down the scratches on his face that have mostly dried blood. 

"These,uh, look pretty serious. I'm not a docterrorist, but I think they'll probably, scar at least. I would really,um, like to know how this,uh, happened though. Because if he was injured by someone, they may still be here,and that would be,uh, dangerous." You look at Sollux and find he's thinking the same thing you are. 

"Okay, well I'm going to scout the area then, make sure the only thing trolling here is us and that dead body over there. I'll have everyone else do the same. You go inside the boat and do what you can for him. Don't let any of the others see him, I don't know how they'll react." He nods, so you have Sollux carry the troll to the cabins in the boat. It's pretty cramped, but it's the safest place you can think of.

You leave the feral in the hands of the very capable Tavros. But you're not an idiot, you did tie his hands and feet together. Tavros can pretty much handle himself against any dangerous beast, but he's only been crippled for a little while and you don't think he's regained all if his suave yet.

You cast one last look at them both  before turning around and heading with Sollux back into the fog.

Gog, that fuckass better be alright.

Tavros:Distress-->


	2. Tavros:Distress-->

 

Tavros:Distress-->

You are unfortunately kind of doing that, at the moment. Karkat told you to heal this highblood, but you're not really very qualified to do that, like at all. You've worked with a lot of lusii or injured beasts, and once set one of Tinkerbull's hooves back in place; but you've never tried another troll before.

You have basically no idea what you're doing.

You look at his face, the sweat streaming down it, mixed with royal purple and the beginnings of what you think might be pus. He's muttering in his sleep, you think he's probably having a nighterror. 

Hes starting to say something that sounds like words, but you can't understand a single thing. Probably some Highblood language for clowns or something. 

You lean forward to see if you can understand anything he's saying when his arm shoots up and grabs you around the neck. You immediately begin the struggle of getting his hands off your neck. His claws are starting to dig in and you know it's no longer affordable to think about his life over yours. You grab him by one long, windy horn and throw it back. 

You hear a crack sound from his neck, but you're more concerned with possibly living a little longer. So you wrench both hands around his horns and keep pushing his head back. He lets go with a sigh like all the air in his body leaves in one puff.

You don't waste time with pleasantries and force him back on the cushion slab you had him lying on. Okay, so even with handcuffs he could still separate his hands enough to fit around your neck.

So they were basically useless. Just in case though, you tighten them a little more. He makes a groaning sound so you lean down more to hear him. You have your auriculars above him mouth to hear better, and just then the door to the cabin slams open.

You unfortunately let out a rather high-pitched squeak that you immediately regret and fall back, rolling your chair against the far wall. Gasping you look up to see what rational troll would enter a quiet room containing injured people in it like that.

You see long black hair and steel-toed boots and suddenly it makes sense.

Veiska smirks, obviously glad she was able to make you flinch. She slowly walks closer, putting on a casual but intimidating air. 

"Soooooooo, Toreadork, I heard you got stuck with the job of being the mediculler, you're not at all qualified but at least it's less lame and more realistic than being crippled and wanting an actual job. Though I suppose you'd make pretty good cull meat." Ugh. This is why you just want her to go away. Not for your sake but because you don't want her terrible bitchy attitude to infect this honestly really adorable highblood.

"Um thank you, for the concern about my dreams not being realistic, uh, I kind of already know that, but hearing it from someone else is... nice? Uh anyway, I kind of need to start focusing back on this troll because he's injured and Karkat told me he would literally kill me if he started getting worse. And you're pretty,uh, distracting so could you maybe leave?" She scoffs and promptly ignores your request as she walks up to you and bends down, looking at the troll strapped down to the wooden slab.

"Wow, he's an ugly one isn't he? Well at least he's got big horns, even though they are really gross and flakey. And just what the fuck is this all over his face? Is that flying beast poop or gogdamn makeup? Ugh, I'm sorry you'll have to be looking close at this guy to fix him, just try not to vomit on the slab. I need that for my sleep later."

She's just so mean and inconsiderate, one of the only people that make you think you may actually be able to hate somebody. You gently bat her hand away from his face where she was poking at one of the long teeth hanging over his lip.

"Vriska, please leave. I've already had to deal with his subconscious reflexes, I don't need to be subjected to a full-on Highblood rage episode." She goes quiet then starts talking excitedly.

"Just how high is he? You think he's higher than me? Pfft, I could take him with only one of my die." You sigh.

"I don't know if you could take him, he's uh, the highest troll I have ever seen. Aside from the Empress that is." She gasps.

"Really? I bet he could actually pose a challenge to me. Lets see just how cool his blood is." And with that, before you could move a muscle or protest she raked her nails down his chest, leaving long purple streams following her hand's path. You hiss, imagining how that must've hurt, it's a good thing he's unconscious. 

And just then, as you start chastising her, the toll bolts upright, tearing apart the rope used to tie him to the slab, he's spitting mad. Literally, he's hissing and foaming at the mouth, eyes bright red, hands tearing at his arms trying to get out of the harness you decided to put on him earlier when he first attacked you.

You lean back, trying to keep his fangs at a safe enough distance. You glance up at Vriska to see why she isn't helping you stay alive. Oh.

She's staring at the blood under her nails. Goodness. 

You jostle her with a small nudge by your horn. She blinks and looks down at you, she's shocked for reasons you don't really feel like processing right now. 

"Hey, uh I know what I said about discovering my confidence, and uh, I really have, but that doesn't really, make me any, um stronger or more able to defend myself, so if you could just maybe, help me a little here, that'd be, uh great." She looks down at the highblood and hisses back at him. When you asked her for help, antagonizing him more wasn't really what you expected and you're not sure it classified as helpful. Since all that did was make him roar even more and shake his head violently, trying to tear everything, anything apart.

You both reach for his chest, trying to push him back to the slab. It doesn't work and you start to realize just what Highblood strength really is. 

She grunts and grabs him by the throat, avoiding what could've been a nasty headbutt by those sharp horns.

Youre still weakly pushing on his chest, though to be honest it's not really doing anything. She doesn't look at you as she finally forcefully manages to pin him to the slab, she's exerting a lot of energy, you can tell because her grunts and groans are getting louder and more held-out.

Her head turns just slightly to look over her shoulder.

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE NITRAM AND GET EQUIUS! AND FUCKING BE QUICK ABOUT IT, I CAN'T HOLD HIM HERE FOREVER!" You nod and quickly roll your way out of the boat, going up the ramp is an easy feat with all the adrenal enzymes working full time.

You come out panicking and wildly yelling.

"Equius! Come here hurry!" You don't see him in the immediate vacinity and rush off in a random direction.

You roll across gravel that almost makes you fall out of your chair, passing a few trees and a body all which you ignore. 

After minutes of being unsuccessful you cry. You come to a stop and just sob. Vriska is going to die now because of you and you can't do anything about it. 

You sit in silence as you hang your head and let the tears flow.

Then you hear a caw, like from a flying beast. Then it comes to you, an idea. You call that bird down and take control of it, with its permission of course, and send it flying through the sky, you see all the things you passed.

You soar right over Sollux and Karkat, past Kanaya and Aradia who seem to be stalking them. And come to a lake, where from your height you spot three blurry figures.

You send the beast downbeat to them, it's Equius, Terezi and Nepeta.

You land on a beam where it looks like a structure was beginning to be made then just abandoned. You talk through the bird.

"Uh, Equius theres a really big problem back at camp. Like Vriska is probably about to die." He looks at the bird and comes closer.

"Mudblood is that you?" You sigh and nod the birds head.

"Good, and you say the spidertroll is in deadly danger? I don't see why you expect me to do anything, honestly I would probably cheer for whatever creature can do this. I've been hoping for her demise for a number of years myself." You go silent, if he wants her to die how is he supposed to help?

 Then it comes to you, aside from the Empress you had never seen a blood color as high as that troll's. Equius would do anything for a highblood.

"Hey uh Equius the thing attacking Vriska is a troll. She cut him while he was asleep and that's how this started. But it might interest you to know she was saying something about his blood." That got his attention.

"Yes? What about it?" You smirk inwardly.

"She was staring at it for a while, must've been a doozy." He looks down, contemplating this. Finally he looks back to the bird.

"I see no reason to not go and simply evaluate your definition of a doozy. Come along Nepeta." He stands up and leaves, back to camp with the other two following. Terezi looks back at you and smiles.

"And just what delicious taste shall I discover next Sir Cavalreaper?" You shake your head and let go of the bird. You smile and head back off to camp. 

You reach the boat in time to see the others going inside. You smile at their willingness to help then an alarm goes off in your head. Karkat said not to let anyone go inside the cabin. 

"Oh, uh, wait a minut please. Uh you can't go in there!" They look back at you, Terezi frowning.

"And why not mr.chocolate peanut butter?" You don't think just reply.

"They're pailing. Like a lot."

All their jaws drop. Then Terezi starts madly cackling, literally dropping to the deck and rolling around with laughter. Equius blushes and covers his face with his hand. Nepeta's eyes start to glaze over as she looks back to the cabin door.

You blush as well, you guess Karkat is right when he calls you an idiot. You try to think of a recovery, finding none you decide to just tell them what Karkat told you.

"Uh sorry, I don't know why I said that, that is definitely not a thing they're doing. But Karkat doesn't want anyone else in there because the troll is sick and really dangerous. So, could you just, uh, maybe wait out here?" Terezi stops rolling and sits up, looking thoughtful.

"Well, I could. But then I'd miss that vein bulge on Karkles' head. Hmm, what is your diagnosis of the patient's condition, temporary Mediculler?" Oh thank goodness, it seems she's actually willing to listen to you.

"He is, really sick. He has cuts and friction burns on his neck and arms. Some old scars have reopened and they're pussy, it's, uh, really gross to be honest. And as the person Karkat is going to hold responsible, I would rather you not go in there and potentially damage him further. Though I can't really stop you." She nods and sighs, settling down.

"Very well Mediculler, I shall wait. But if I hear tremendous amounts of ruckus I will come in with a noose in hand." You smile, grateful. You then hear Vriska scream so you hurriedly roll onto the boat and gesture Equius to go forward. 

He opens the door and quickly walks down the ramp, you follow.

You enter the cabin to find Vriska on the ground pushing her forearm against the advancing highblood's throat. You are frozen.

You had confidence before, were willing to help her, now all you can think is to get out of there before he turns his sights on you. 

Susdenly a harsh nudge to your side breaks your rapt attention. Right, you have the Empire's strongest troll ever hatched to help you. 

"Equius, uh, I think now would be a good time to help her. She, doesnt seem to be doing very, um, well." He nods.

"Very well peasant, I shall assist the pirate in getting the troll off her, but remember if that troll is unintentionally crushed you shall be the one explaining it to my moirail." He turns and rushes the pair, using momentum to make the force propelling his arm forward. It swoops down picks him up and launches him through the boat's wall in the other side. 

You quickly roll to Vriska's side, she's gagging, holding her throat in an attempt to get the claw indents worked out of the tissue. Apparently what you hadn't noticed was that with the hand on the other side if the troll, he was choking her.

Finally she turns over and spits up blood from her throat. It's kind of gross but you find it weirdly attractive that she's so cool she didn't even care that there were other people in the room. 

She shakily gets to her hands and knees, it's really obvious that she expended quite a bit of her energy. When she starts talking it's with a strained voice and halting.

"What the fuck... took you so long...nerd? And why the hell do we have a-...a... fucking psychopath like that here?" She took longer on that last phrase, as it was interrupted by loud hacking coughs and more blood.

It really worries you that she's being so open about her damage. Equius moves to help her up and she flicks him off before weakly pushing herself to her feet. You frown.

You hear a very quiet rattley moan. The direction it came from was the huge hole in the side of the boat. Oh. 

You roll over and look through the space, and find a very wet, probably delirious highblood lying in the water with his head on a rock and his limbs bent at odd angles. This may qualify as further harming him. 

"Hey, uh Equius, I need you to come fish the troll out of the water please. Like, soon because he may be ingesting some of that water, and, um, it doesn't look very clean to me." Equius gives you a look and raises an eyebrow.

"And why should I do that? Unless, was that a...command? Are you, the lowly peasant, ordering me to assist this mangey troll?" You sigh again.

"If you pick him up I'll tell you that interesting thing about his blood." He nods and climbs out through the hole, landing in the ocean below with a splash. He stomps over to the unconscious highblood, picks him up like a sack of starch-filled roots and carelessly slings him over his shoulder. Equius climbs easily through the hole of the ship.

 "Uh, just set him back on that slab please. Um could you maybe, uh possibly do it a little gentler? He's already, kind of injured." He basically ignores you and sets the highblood on the slab without much consideration.

 He steps back and looks at you, crossing his arms expectantly.

 "Now what is so noteworthy about his blood? I do not have time to be standing around here uselessly, I would like to get back to hunting with Nepeta." You nod and roll so you're in front of the quite injured troll. You'd rather not have to injure him more so you look for open injuries you haven't already healed.

 Oh, looks like he busted his head open in the back when he landed on those rocks. Perfect. Well, not perfect as in, like good, but in the sense that this is perfect for what you need now. Anyway.

 You gently hold the sides of his head and turn it away from you so you can see the wound more clearly. It's really only a small gash, not that long but probably pretty deep. Head wounds bleed a lot. You run your fingers through some of the blood-soaked hair and turn to show Equius.

 He furrows his eyebrows and leans closer, then gasps.

 "This, this is a highblood. Even higher than I." He's just marveling at the blood on your fingers and it makes you a little satisfied to know this was obviously not a waste of his time.

 "Yeah, he's got subjugglator blood." He nods, silent but in awe.

 "We must heal him, and wake him up so we may speak with him. Only if he so desires of course." You gently set his head back down once Equius has placed a towel underneath. You only just then remember Vriska, you look around but it seems she's left the boat. Without getting treatment. Ugh.

 Equius proceeds to interrogate you, asking where you found him, how you managed to subdue "one so high with only your lowblood power" your answer every time is Karkat, he doesn't seem to be catching on though and keeps coming up with new questions. He's kind of an idiot.

 You really wish Karkat would hurry up, because he doesn't mind telling people to shut up and leave you alone, but your Rufioh has taken a permanent leave of absence and you doubt he's coming back. 

 Then the door opens and quietly clicks shut, you move to block the entrance because no one else is supposed to be in here. But wait, it's actually Karkat, that's pretty lucky.

 He looks at you confused.

 "Why the fuck aren't you over there healing that douche?" You move out if his way so he can go see his palecrush, you totally had that pegged from the second he brought him to you. He walks past you quickly before stopping and glaring in disgust at Equius.

 "And why the fuck did you let this gogdamn sweaty douch in here? Pretty sure that was a specific rule not to." You follow behind him, stopping in front of the unconscious troll. 

"Well yeah, but well, he kind of, uh, woke up and well he really hurt Vriska and didnt seem to want to stop, so I had to go get Equius so he could stop him. He did, but uh, that hole was the result and he has another cut on his head. Sorry." He sighs but apparently forgives you and walks to the troll.

 "So is he okay now?" It kind of depends on his definitioof of okay, but you only had one job so you pretend you did it well. He won't die.

 "He won't die. I uh, sealed most of his cut and stuff, and sterilized the pussy parts. Uh, really the only thing I can think if doing at this point is sealing the head wound and then rubbing his horns because they're flaking and that's really irritating and kind of unsanitary. But he's mostly fixed now." He nods then looks back at you.

 "Okay, I'll do the rest. You can go take a fucking break Nitram." You nod and smile on the inside because you understand why he wants them to be alone. Haha.

 You roll out the door.

Sollux: Be Sickened-->


	3. Sollux: Be Sickened-->

Sollux: Be Sickened-->

No one needs to tell you twice. It's kind of an automatic response to being able to literally feel the atmosphere condense with revoltingly pale vibes. Especially those of karkat's variety.

 You made the mistake of looking over only once, when what you do induces vomiting you tend to learn from your mistakes. Unfortunately, you're pretty sure KK brought you here for a reason and despite not wanting to be near them, you need to walk over to the fuckers now so you can finish whatever this is and be on your way.

You turn and walk across the creaky floor, which you really should fix now that you think about it, until you're standing just behind Karkat trying so fucking hard not to watch whatever he's doing. 

That is, until you remember you haven't even given him the gauze yet, and this is probably a pale make-out in progress.

You quickly take your hand from his shoulder and hold out the gauze to him waiting for him to take it.

 You notice he's examining every inch of this pathetic thing's septic body with his eyes. Taking everything in. He could probably even give you an estimated pusher  rate if you gave him enough time.

 Or really cared.

You watch his hand shakingly reach out for the troll's sweat-beaded forehead, he sweeps his hand across one of the head wounds on his forehead and he just kinda stops there. Like he doesn't move or anything, so you clear your throat and nudge his shoulder with the gauze. He blinks rapidly and turns, grabs the gauze, sparing only a passing glance at you. He unrolls the gauze and gently lifts up the troll's head. His arms are shaking though so you reach down and hold his head up for him. He mutters a thanks and goes back to wrapping the covering around his head carefully. Really carefully actually. You're gonna have to tighten it when you get KK out of here.

He finishes and ties the back into a knot, which you take as your sign to put the dude's head back down. 

KK is looking over the troll again, but he seems to be focusing on his horns. And holy hell no, there is no way in you're fucking doomed life that you're gonna let him get all tender and shit with a stranger's horns. 

"KK no. Like what the fuck KK, that guy is sleeping, he isn't even awake to let give you permission to mess with his rack. Just come back later after he's awake or some shit." He blushes and sputters.

"I wasn't gonna-no, I didn't-ugh shut the fuck up fucknugget." He flips you off as he rises from his kneeling position and you laugh because his walking frond joints just popped really loudly so you know that that was hurting him. Idiot.

He glances back at the unconscious troll on the cot.

"Look, let's just get out of here and I guess explain to the others the situation. Or something. I don't know. Equius you're in charge of watching him and I guess making sure he doesn't get out or something." Equius nods. You grin and motion him forward, ahead of you. You follow him out of the boat entrance and don't hear the muffled groans of the stranger.

Outside you hear the angered shrieks and demands of one whiny spiderbitch. Gog.

"He attacked me! And practically crushed my squawk blister! I'd be dead if i hadn't gotten him off and punched him through the wall. Of coooooooourse Equius had to go retrieve the soggy piece of shit. But it was still very satisfying seeing him launch through the boat." You roll your eyes and decide not to correct Vriska's account of the encounter.

Karkat stiffens up and struts up to the gathering. Once they notice him they start to barrage him with questions but he holds up a hand, stopping them.

"Shut up before you all bust my auricular sponge clots with your stupidity and just listen for once," he pauses, looks at them and goes on," Yeah, I found a highblood on this gogforsaken island. He's unconscious now. And no, I'm not dead. Okay now, any quest-one at a fucking time! Nitram you're up." Tavros nods and stutters as he speaks.

"Before you brought him here, when he was, uh, still conscious, what was he like?" Karkat looks at him and deadpans.

"Fucking insane and he didn't give a single shit about how much he hurt himself. Feral. Next? Nepeta" She perks up and excitedly poses her question.

"How high is he?" Karkat thinks about this for a second before answering.

"Purple. Above Equius. How much, I'm not sure. Vriska?"

She glares at him.

"Why is he here and how long is he gonna be here?" He looks her dead in the eyes, clearly giving no fucks.

"He's here cuz I fucking brought him here. And he's gonna stay here as long as he needs to," his tone softens, "he's sick and I can't just fucking leave him here." 

"Is it that or is it because you're pale for him?" Aradia's interjection was unexpected, you'd forgotten she was here.

"Right cuz I'm totally gonna form a deep pale connection with some random unconscious fucker. But if I did would it matter? No? Then fuck all of you." And there's the silence you were expecting. Kanaya pipes in after a second.

"How long will we be remaining here?" He looks slightly relieved for the rather innocent question.

"I say let's get the fuck off now." No one protests so he assigns departure duties to everyone.

You've got the lovely fucking job of looking around the edges of the beach for shit the people of your group may have left. Fucking dirtyass wrigglers.

You nonchalantly stroll along the beach not really trying too hard to actually look for shit.

You see something in your peripherals and turn. You could have sworn you saw black tentacles or some shit. You squint but nothing else happens for a while so you shrug it off and keep going. You get back to camp in half an hour and notice KK, Tavros and Nepeta gathered next to the flotation device. KK is gesturing wildly at his clipboard. 

You snicker and find a rock. It's pretty smooth and you're tired as shit so you sit down and decide to doze off. You finished your job, why the fuck shouldn't you?

The angered shouts and directions of your resident pain in the ass fade to background noise as you drift off.

* * *

You're being shoved.

What the fuck.

Come on.

You mumble something about 5 more minutes which is actually probably just a lispy unintelligible slur but whatever.

"Get the fuck up now you shithumping bulge-for-brains nookmunch! We have to fucking take off now to get back in time before we all get burnt to shit." Ugh.

You unfortunately open your eyes and yeah, you can see the relatively lighter sky of dusk so you should get going. You grumble and push yourself up until you stagger to your feet. You're so fucking tired. He raises an eyebrow which you pointedly ignore. 

"Come on fuckass, let's go. Get on the flotation device, we've been waiting for you." He turns around and starts walking. You sigh and sluggishly walk in the general direction of the boat. 

A question pops into your mind.

"Oh wait, is that shithead highblood up yet?" He doesn't immediately answer your question but eventually he takes a breath and answers in a small voice, "no".

Oh well. He'll get up eventually you guess.

You reach the boat and climb up the side and sit in your assumed position where you can help propel the ship.

You sigh as you sit down, settling down for what will be a very painful and boring night of crossing this stupid ocean. 

Life sucks.


End file.
